The Moon And Venus

Our friends Ken and Marie came over last night and brought out the telescope and did a little star gazing. It's a little difficult because we have a few neighbors who seem to think they should light up the entire neighborhood at night with their "security" lighting. But we were able to get a good look at the moon and venus. They were in near perfect alignment, which was cool. But what I hadn't realized until I set up the telescope was that Venus was in a crescent that was nearly identical to that of the moon, only much smaller.


Both were slivers of smiles and bright despite how thin they were.

It was a good time to look at the moon because it wasn't overwhelmingly bright. I tried to take a couple of pictures with the little hand held digital camera that I have but I wasn't very steady, as you can see--I'd only had one beer and a mere taste of the port, I swear!

Slap Chop

So the ShamWow guy is now selling a food chopper that looks a lot like the one I got from Pampered Chef a few years ago. Maybe not quite the same quality, but the principle is the same. And, okay, maybe this is very immature of me but I swear to god he says this and it is the only thing I can think of when I use my chopper now:

"You're going to love my nuts."

I swear to god. He says this.

The End Of An Era

Seriously? The End Of An Era? The end of an effing era? That's what the promo for The Girls Next Door is claiming. Apparently Hugh Hefner is kicking out his current stable of three siliconized "girlfriends" and everybody is all weepy. Does anyone actually watch this show? Am I the only one who finds it all just profoundly creepy? Hugh Hefner will soon be 82 years old. These girls are what? In their early 20s? I'm no prude, but good god, that just strikes me as disgustingly freakish. And it's not like these three girls are sharing Hef because they just find him irresistably attractive. It's an obvious "career" ploy and it borders on prostitution. (Isn't that what you call it when you offer sex in exchange for something?) The fact that this show is even on the air should shame every single American. And anyone who watches it, well, there's just no words to describe what you should be feeling.

Like Roses, We Are Clones

Who knows from where such thoughts come? I certainly don't. I don't ascribe to a particular creation myth, though my upbringing would suggest an affinity for the Christian version. I was just reading a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke called "Eve." And I don't know why, but I got to thinking first of incest and same sex marriage--culled from Adam's rib, just how female is Eve? A pointless thought with no basis because of course she could be rendered female with a click of a single gene. That's when I wondered, despite the desperate attempts by politicians and fundamentalist Christian loonies to undo the tenets of modern day science, is Eve nothing more than a clone of Adam? Of course she is. The Christian creation myth is a story of cloning in order to perpetuate a species. From one cloned pair and a handful of generations of mutation and change (hey, the earth is only 6000 years old, right?) all the humans on earth have been derived. From two to six billion in 6000 years, give or take five or six days. That's a pretty good success rate. Not bad for a cloning experiment.

By the way, here's the poem:

Eve

Simply she stands at the cathedral’s great ascent, close to the rose window, with the apple in the apple-pose, guiltless-guilty once and for all of the growing she gave birth to since form the circle of eternities loving she went forth, top struggle through her way throughout the earth like a young year. Ah, gladly yet a little in that land Would she have lingered, heeding the harmony And understanding of the animals. But since she found the man determined, She went with him, aspiring after death, And she had as yet hardly known God.  Rainer Maria Rilke

My Favorite Song

Someone asked me today what my favorite song is. I was left speechless--like, you mean, favorite song of all time?!?! What a horrible question. I can't answer it. I'm quite certain that my answer would change before it even left my mouth. "Baby Please Don't Go"? "Amazing Grace"? "Stranglehold"? "Redemption Song"? "The Bed's Too Big Without You"? 'The Thrill Is Gone"? Something by AC/DC or Aerosmith's version of "Train Kept A Rollin'"? I have no idea. I fully suspect that if I truly tried to answer this question I would end up in an insane asylum.

Cavendish!

Two stages in a row for Isle of Whiter Mark Cavendish. Two close seconds for Tommy Boonen. Looks like Cavendish is taking the fastest man in the world title from Tom in a big, in-your-face kind of way.

Now that I'm home and have to experience the Tour of California via one hour highlight shows on Versus, the weather in California has turned and the riders are enjoying some sun for a change. I would really love to be able to follow the whole tour one of these days.

Oakland Airport

We're sitting in the Oakland Airport waiting for the flight. It's hot in here! At least they have decent wi-fi. I'm looking forward to some warm, dry weather. We've depleted a small forest in tissues. We left Tucson with lousy head colds and it looks like we're returning not a whole lot better. Looking forward to getting back, but it would be nice to be able to follow the tour the whole route. One of these days we're going to do that. Joan gets a bit tired of it after a while, but if the weather is nice it might be easier. She'd rather do winery tours and visit the beaches. I'm good with following the races and, weather permitting, doing some cycling of our own. Oh well. The future awaits, right?

Bikebox - 17 Feb. 2009: A Day At The Beach

Well. No bike racing for me today. We woke up and it was not raining. Oh, certainly, there were banks of clouds parked offshore waiting and the news continued to sound like there was a coming apocalypse of weather, but we had made the deal that if it wasn't raining we would elect to do some sight seeing rather than driving up to watch the start of today's stage.

Before heading out on our adventures we had breakfast at the beginning of the wharf at the Ideal Bar & Grill. Good breakfast! Certainly more food than we needed to be eating, but it was quite good and the service was pleasant and efficient. Afterward, we walked out the pier and hit the souvenir shops as they opened for the day. We saw some cute things, including some pretty elaborate and funny hats and the like. All we bought were a couple of shot glasses for some friends of ours. There were some cute t-shirts but none of them were small enough for the kids.

After the pier we checked out of room, stopping in the lobby to print our boarding passes. Down the road from the hotel there was a surfer's beach with a lighthouse and surf museum. We went to check it out. Blustery and cold, but definitely scenic. The surf museum is closed, however. It has apparently been rescued from total closure, but there is a transition period between operators. We walked along the beach path, which was surprisingly well-used on such a crappy day; we were even scoped out by an apparent purse snatcher coming and going. He thought better of it. Joan would have kicked his ass.

Next up was a redwood forest and a route that followed some of yesterday's stage route. Those boys did some serious climbing on narrow, winding, wet and wooded roads, let me tell you. We saw three or four cyclists out on the route, likely following the tour a day behind. Tough riding, to be sure--there was one section that was over a mile of 10% grade. That's steep. I would be so slow on such a climb that movement would have to be determined using time lapse photography. I can only imagine doing it in the rain and cold and wind. I'm just not that hard core.

On up the coast on Highway 1. We stopped here and there to look out over the ocean. At one stop we found a small path down to the beach. It was very steep and wet. Wandering around the beach was nice. It gave us a chance to kind of stretch out and get a little exercise in. There was a lot of low-tide detritus to look thr0ugh and coming off of the cliff walls there were a few cataracts shooting water out and down. The climb back up was steep but seemed a lot shorter than it was coming down. Usually it's the other way around, right?

Next was a stop at Pigeon Point Lighthouse. This is a really cool historic lighthouse and hostel. The lighthouse is currently closed because it is falling apart--literally. It is in need of serious repair and restoration. It has been standing around since the 1870s and is feeling a bit frail from standing up to the harsh ocean weather. Hopefully they are successful in preserving this place.

Half Moon Bay was a nice place to visit, too. We had an excellent (and insanely expensive) lunch at Sam's and then backtracked to "historic" Main Street for a short walkabout. Most things were already closed, but it was a nice walk anyway. Just as we finished the circuit it started to rain again. I took a turn driving and was glad to be behind a large delivery truck--he was going every bit as slowly as I would have been anyway, but this way everyone blamed him instead of me. It was a long drive to the hotel in San Leandro (Oakland-ish), but we found it, rain be damned.

We got to the room and decided we would be "in" for the night. We were still kind of full from our late lunch and weren't ambitious enough to go wandering around a somewhat unseemly neighborhood to find food. Once I got good and comfortable, though, Joan saw the microwave and sent me down to the lobby to get microwave popcorn from the "pantry." I pulled on my hiking boots and headed down.

They had beer, too! I came back with a couple of beers, jalapeno potato chips, and the microwave popcorn. Which we proceeded to burn. Back on with the boots and back downstairs. I came back and came very close to burning it again. Fortunately, it wasn't too far gone. The beer is good, though. I'm having a Sierra Nevada. Joan has a Corona. I'm thinking I might end up with the last half of that Corona, too....

Bikebox - 16 Feb. 2009: Drive! Drive! Drive!

The original plan was to follow the Google Maps directions to Santa Cruz. Well, we decided to follow the cyclists over the Golden Gate Bridge ($6 toll!!!). It was pouring rain (again) and traffic over the bridge was creepy crawly slow. We really weren't sure we would make it to Santa Cruz in time to see the race.

The rain let up before we hit Santa Cruz but we were really crunched for time. We called the hotel for directions and tried to follow them only to find a race route in the middle of our directions and road closures all around. We called for new directions and found more road closures. The third time was the charm--more or less--and we made it around the race route only to get spun around into a beach parking lot that forced us down a one way beach road and back out to where we had come from. It was a little frustrating, but at least the second time we knew where all the turns were. We got to the hotel and went in to the lobby to find several people waiting to check in. I was starting to freak out because it was 12:58 and the ETA for riders was between 12:56 and 2

Except my watch was still on Tucson time and it was only 11:56. We trucked the bags all the way up to the fourth floor--which turns out to be the floor immediately above the lobby. I can't explain it, it's just the way it is.

We walked down to the race route and decided to wait about 300 meters before the finish because they were just putting up the barricades there and we were able to get right on the course. I'm glad we brought the ponchos down with us because the clouds that had been hanging over the hills decided to move and they passed right over us dropping rain on the way. It didn't rain for long, but after it quit the weather remained windy and cold.

We ended up waiting well over an hour for the bikes to come in. The rain really held the riders up today. Levi and Tom Peterson came flying through with the main field only about a minute behind. It was fast finish. I overhead a guy comment that it was an awful lot of waiting for a few seconds of bikes. True. But worth it.

Santa Cruz is probably a bustling town in the summer. We wandered around a bit and the street we were on really reminded us of Traverse City. We found a multi-use path that followed the river down to the ocean so we took that route back. It was a nice walk, but really cold. We cut through Neptune's Palace Arcade to the beach and walked up a bit to our "Dream Inn."

We had to stick around the room awhile because I had to log in to hold class. Of course, the best laid plans and all. I couldn't get logged in to the chat section. It just wouldn't load. I shouldn't be surprised. I sent out an email and waited for replies and then we cut out to find a restaurant for dinner. We decided to drive out to the end of the pier to see what we could see. There were a number of restaurants out there but we picked Stagnero Brothers. It has been there since 1937 and the food was excellent. Really excellent. After dinner we waddled out to the car and back to the hotel.

Tomorrow we hope to make it to Santa Rosa for the start of tomorrow's stage. On the extremely rare chance that the weather will be good we might skip the race and do some sightseeing. I don't want bad weather, but I want to see the race, too. We'll see what happens tomorrow, I guess.

Bikebox - 15 Feb. 2009: Who do you think you are? Pancho Villa?

"Who do you think you are? Pancho Villa?" It's one of my favorite lines from the movie The Milagro Beanfield War, but it seems like a good question today--we're both decked out in full length rain parkas and it's pouring rain out.

We started out today with a few winery tours. We went to Schug, B.R Cohn, Kunde, and Landmark. Joan did all the tasting and had some good Pinot Noirs and a Meritage that she really liked. She bought a Pinot from Schug.

B.R. Cohn is owned by the long time manager of The Doobie Brothers and the winery is decorated with a lot of photos and gold records and autographed guitars, etc. The Cohn winery also had a tasting room for their line of flavored olive oils and vinegars. They had a delicious 15 year old balsamic that was amazing. There was a really nice pear vinegar, too.

After the wineries we headed up through Sonoma to Santa Rosa, Levi Leipheimer's hometown and the end city for the first official stage of the AMGEN Tour of California. We found a parking garage not too far from the action, donned our ponchos, and headed off to see what we could see. We first stopped off at a really good Mexican restaurant called El Palomar. Really good food. Joan had spinach enchiladas and I had a spinach and mushroom chimichanga. There must have been a spinach theme today because I also had a spinach and mushroom omelette for breakfast.

After lunch we walked down to the health fair and scoped out the finish line. After evaluating the end circuit (the riders made three laps around town at the end of their nearly 108 mile ride in the rain and cold), we decided to go down to the last turn before the final straightaway. It was a good choice; with all of the rain, the riders had to slow way down to make the turn. Of course, slowing way down for these guys is still really fast.

Francisco Mancebo was the first rider to arrive and he had a pretty good lead. During the subsequent laps he had a couple of other riders to keep him company, but in the end he held on to his lead for the win. The lead chase group was led by team Astana and Lance Armstrong was right on the front of the pack. In the following laps he dropped back for a bit and then was right back at the front again. I don't care what anyone says--being the oldest guy in the peloton and three years of retirement behind him, this guy is smoking the youngsters. It's very impressive. And he looked completely unfazed and focused.

I wish we had access to Versus or some other complete race coverage. I haven't found good up-to-date information on the internet yet about today's stage. I'm not sure how the finish actually played out or what all happened along the field today. I suspect it was brutal out there and that a few riders may have dropped out. But I don't know. I know yesterday's winner, Fabian Cancellara, dropped out today, feverish and ill. Others may have simply been done in by the weather.

Tomorrow we head down to Santa Cruz. The riders get to ride across the Golden Gate Bridge and I wish we could see that crossing--I'm sure it will be quite the sight. We'll be a bit ahead of them and waiting at the finish. Joan is ready to pull the plug on watching Tuesday's race, but I haven't given up on that one yet.

Side note: It turns out that Lance's and Popo's and two other Astana riders' TT bikes were stolen off the Astana truck from behind the hotel yesterday. Now, I just want to be clear that even though I was hanging out behind the hotel stalking...er, I mean, waiting for Lance's return to the hotel, I did not take those bikes. I don't mean that in the way Bill Clinton meant that he didn't have sexual relations with "That Woman." I literally mean that I did not take those bikes. Honest.

Bikebox - 14 Feb. 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, we're up and we had our free breakfast downstairs. The dining area was standing room only, but we managed to get a small table for basic hotel eggs, yogurt, toast, and "seasonal fruit" (i.e., melon, which is apparently seasonal at every hotel in every season). It looks blustery out, but we're ready. I think. While we were in the dining area the Astana chef kept whizzing in and out of the kitchen and whisking eggs and muffins off to wherever the team was having their breakfast. No sign of Garmin, though.

We have to be out of the hotel before the race begins so I won't be able to update until our next hotel in, I think, Santa Cruz. Hopefully the wireless is faster there--the one here is, as near as I can tell, "High Speed Internet for People in No Particular Hurry."

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Well, we're now at the Sheraton Petaluma and the internet connection is "High Speed Internet for Really Laid Back Dudes In Even Less of A Hurry." Oh well. You make do. It beats a 1200 baud modem--if any of you can even remember a 1200 baud modem and text only internet, well, good for you. I remember when the 1200 was an upgrade....

We had a really good day. No rain! It was cold and windy, but it was dry up until the end of the race so that was good news. I haven't seen the official results yet but I believe it was Fabian Cancellara in first and Levi in second. We got to see all of our favorites, even my personal fave, Karl Menzies from Team Ouch! (formerly Health Net) by way of Tasmania. He's a really cool guy and a hell of a bike racer. All the big guns are back this year: Tyler Hamilton, Floyd Landis, Ivan Basso, Lance, Levi. It's a really good field of riders.

We wandered around a bit after breakfast and saw a few riders out for their training rides. We had to officially vacate the hotel at noon, so we headed back to bring our bags down to the front desk. They kept them there for us. It was a good thing we came back when we did because as we were leaving Lance was coming in from his morning ride. Joan was oblivious and kept walking and missed it completely. I got a photo but he wasn't stopping this time around, just saying hi and thank you and all that. Got the picture though.

We wandered a bit during the race and rather than our original intent of scoping out the start and then running off to the finish area when our favorites went. The start and finish areas were so packed you couldn't see a thing. I miss those VIP tents we used to get with Health Net! We found that the long straightaway on the far side of the course was quite open. We wandered up and down and free reign to photograph any rider we wanted. It was nice and the fact that the lead motorcycles had each rider's name on the front it made it easy to know when a favored rider was coming. Unfortunately, while we walking along some mysteriously sharp, painful, invisible particle landed in Joan's eye. It was bothering her so much we ended up going back to the hotel so she could use a good bathroom with a good mirror to try and clear her eye. Joan went into the bathroom and Chris Horner came through the lobby. I took his picture but didn't bother him for an autograph. But I should have. I bought a $3 bottle of Visine from the hotel "Marketplace"-- you know, the size of bottle that like two drops in it. It didn't help much. Whatever was in Joan's eye must have scratched her eye because it never stopped hurting.

After the race we headed back to the lobby of the hotel to get our backs and lay in wait for returning riders. There wasn't much happening in that regard so we went out to the valet, which was a madhouse. While I was waiting for my turn I saw Levi ride by so I ducked around the corner to where they had a makeshift shop stop set up and got a quick pic. As he came up to the hotel I also got his photograph. We hoped Lance would not be far behind, but we never did see him. We eventually had to pull up stakes and move on.

The drive to Petaluma was interesting. Joan drove, blind in one eye and unable to see out of the other. I was, as usual, exhibiting signs of highway narcolepsy so we decided it was better to have a blind person driving than a sleeping one. The rain finally found us while we were driving and it kept it up most of the drive. It was mostly clear, but wet, when we arrived at the hotel. It's a huge hotel and it sits on some kind of bay. I'll know better what it's like in the daylight, but I do know there are boats docked in a harbor right outside our window.

We're supposed to have the "wine" package--bottle of wine and cheese plate. We checked in to a room with two little beds and no wine or cheese. We called down about the wine and, well, we're still waiting. I guess we'll just go out and find something to eat. I'll check back in tomorrow. We're supposed to do some wineries in the morning. That should be fun. Then we make our way up to the finish line in Santa Rosa--that's Levi's home so I'm sure he'll want to win that stage if possible.

Sacramento Sacre Bleu!

No, I have no idea how to spell that and don't care if it's wrong. Anyway, everyone knows it's going to drive me crazy and I will eventually have to check. And, of course, I did. The surprising thing is I got it right. Mostly. The French apparently always spell it as one word. It is a curse, after all.

Anyway, we managed to land without our heads exploding. We got our rental car (Pontiac G6 with carbon offsets) and managed to get to Sacramento without incident beyond hunger, lack of tissues, and persistent cloud cover and light rain. There was a slight gaff in the hotel directions, but we made it finally with little argument and got to the hotel to find the Garmin Chipotle team car in the valet spot. Apparently a few teams are staying here, but the desk clerk wasn't giving us any information we couldn't see with our own eyes. Very tight lipped and hush hush about it. There was a small conference room (well, is, I suppose it hasn't gone anywhere) off the main lobby and as staff came and went we could see a team in there having a meal. Garmin staff appeared to be getting some bikes and water bottles together for a training ride. Maybe we'll see some riders!

We have since seen a lot of Astana staff. I haven't recognized any riders but that can be hard when they're in street clothes--you'd be surprised, really!

We took a chilly walk through the wet streets of Sacramento, through Capitol Park, by the Capitol, and beyond. The park is very nice with several different war memorials--the Viet Nam memorial is particularly well-done. There is a trout pond sans trout, a bell from the U.S.S. California sans ship, and a replica of the Liberty Bell sans crack. There are rose trees grown from grafts from plants from souther battlefields of the Civil War. It's a beautiful park and I'm sure it's amazing on a nice spring or summer day.

We stopped off at the 4th Street Grille for a drink and an appetizer and had a good time talking with the bartender, Ken (I think). He shared his beautiful hard cover edition of a Tour de France retrospective that he had brought into the bar on the off chance someone of significance happened in who might be worthy of autographing his treasured tome. I told him he should hang out at our hotel if he wants to see anyone.

From the grill we walked down to Old Sacramento and had a really nice dinner at the Rio City Cafe. We briefly walked around old town after dinner but it was simply too cold and wet. Besides, it was getting dark and wet and we had fifteen blocks to walk in a strange city, at night. We headed back. I have to admit, we were almost done in and it wasn't even 6:00 p.m. back home!

We went to the room and ditched our jackets and then went down to the hotel bar for a drink and to scope out people who came in. There were team staff about but no one we recognized by name or anything. I had a nice Belgian beer and Joan had a Bailey's and coffee to warm her bones. I also ordered the 3 Fires Habanero Sorbet. It was good! It was a citrus (heavy on the lemon) sorbet with tri-colored habanero pieces. It had a really nice, slow burn that kicked up a few notches after the last bite disappeared. Isn't that how chiles always work?

Anyway, we're back in the room and sufficiently doped up. Racing doesn't start to 1:00 or 1:30, so we're not setting our alarms. As long as we're up before our free breakfast disappears I think we'll call it a good night.

The Bike Box Heads To California

Bikebox 13 Feb. 2009

I am not a good blogger. I admit.I have come realize my shortcomings in this area. Now, I have always known the notion of the blog as something rough and unpolished, though I am certain there are folks out there who take their blogging very seriously. I've seen their blogs. Impressed or not, the care is obvious. I know the idea is to just get the thoughts out there, a form of public journal, laying your thoughts out in the open, or in the case of unread blogs like mine, to waste. I have gone weeks without an entry. No one likes a blog that doesn't get updated. Well, I am going to try to actually enter the world of appropriate blog behavior--frequent updates, careless proofreading, and generally pointless and random thinking So, really, the only difference will be the frequency of posting.

What better time to start than this, the beginning of my trip to California for the start of the Amgen Tour of California? We dragged our sickly carcasses out of bed at 4:45 a.m. to prepare for our journey, so I might as well share my suffering with the world.

Joan and I both have head colds. I've had mine longer, so I'm not as bad off as Joan is at this point, but we've both seen better days. Our ears are plugged and our heads nearing explosive pressures as we sit in our traveling tin can at cruising altitude (someone remind me to purchase the carbon offsets for this trip--I haven't done so yet). And, as we fly to sunny California the weather forecast has decided to defy the travel brochures and promises us five days of rain and temps in the low 50s. That should be good for us.

I went in search of decent rain ponchos yesterday. I didn't just want the disposable ones, for a variety of reasons For one, hello, disposable. Two, they have to last five days of standing in the rain watching bicycles whiz by spraying water and mud in every direction. I ended up at Dick's Sporting Goods. They had three different options: Disposable, $5 ponchos, and $25 dollar ponchos. I could find no discernible difference between the $5 and $25 dollar ponchos Not a $20 difference anyway, so I ended up with two $5 ponchos, one blue, one yellow. I like to give Joan choices.

Ponchos in hand, we have begun our intrepid journey to the capitol of California, Sacramento, by way of Oackland airport. Tomorrow is Valentine's day and Southwest Airlines is actually selling Hallmark cards on the flight. They offered cards before drinks. I suspect those who are that hard up for a VD card would be more likely to buy one after a drink or two, but I could be wrong. I actually saw people buying them, though. As much as Hallmark cards cost in the store, I can only imagine what they cost when they are hand delivered at 30,000 feet.

I'm looking forward to Sacramento. I have never been there. It's unfortunate that we are only there for one day and that it will be raining (the captain tells us it is 45 degrees in Oakland) and cold. Tomorrow is the first day of racing and we begin with the Prologue. The prologue makes a circuit around Capitol Park, one 2.4 mile lap per rider--about five minutes of riding. If we are ambitious and the crowds aren't too heavy, we will be able to watch a rider start and then make a two block cut across the park to catch the finish. I admit I'm excited to finally see Lance Armstrong race. The closest I've been to that scenario is seeing him whiz by in the Discovery car during the first Amgen TOC--post retirement. Although I'm looking forward to that, I'm not rooting for Astana, not during the TOC anyway; I will cheer them on in the Grand Tours, probably, but loyalties are seriously divided these days. Hincapie is on High Road, and you have to love Georgie. Zabriskie is on Garmin. Astana has a lot of favorites. But for domestic racing I'm pulling for Ouch! presented by Maxxis. Ouch! used to be Team Health Net and I followed them from the beginning, mainly because Joan works for Health Net and we often had VIP access to racing events. It doesn't hurt that they were the number one domestic team each year of their existence. Health Net was Gord Frasier's team. He's retired now, too, but he was always a great guy to hang with and talk to at the races and other events. I'm not going to pretend we were friends or anything, but he was friendly and remembered me when I saw him. That counts for something in my view.

I'm looking forward to the next few days, weather be damned. I'll at least try to do daily updates of the races and our adventures along the way. I might even post a photo or two from the doubtless hundreds I will take of blurry, rain-spotted bicycles and drenched skinny men in spandex. But right now the flight attendants are telling us to put our things away as we prepare for our descent into Oakland. I can already feel the pressure building in my head and sinuses and can only imagine what this is going to feel like in a few minutes. I just hope that if the pressure gets too bad and my eyeballs pop out of my head some kind soul will help me pick them up and pop them back in.

In the meantime, welcome to The Bikebox.

It makes me crazy!

It just baffles me that anyone can seriously, with a straight face, propose the teaching of creationism, or, er, excuse me, "intelligent design," as science. The teaching of mythology in a science classroom is ludicrous. Pretending that creationism is another "theory" that should be taught is insane. Insane. There is nothing testable about it. It is not researchable. It is not in any way shape or form science. It's hooey and nothing more.

Evolution is a fact. We do not fully understand how it works in all cases but the fact that it exists and is happening all around us is unquestionable. Get over it.